Franzi's Frantic Thoughts
stunningpicture:

Me (located in Iceland) and my friend (located in New Zealand) made the biggest sandwich of all time.

stunningpicture:

Me (located in Iceland) and my friend (located in New Zealand) made the biggest sandwich of all time.

petroliuus:

destructiondragon360:

lokiloo:

My Buddhist friend was stopped by a Christian fellowship and asked if she would consider following the word of Jesus Christ. She replied, “No, thanks, but maybe next time around.”

I don’t think they got the joke but I nearly died laughing.

wait what’s the joke

reincarnation

theroadleasttraveled:

7263 people
7263.
just cast a charm to grow the eyebrow back, damn

theroadleasttraveled:

7263 people

7263.

just cast a charm to grow the eyebrow back, damn

morlarty:

thatsnotladysmallwood:

morlarty:

deanisabee:

morlarty:

I love how we all just silently unanimously forgave Moriarty for Reichenbach

wELL AT LEAST HE DIDN’T PEE IN THE FIREPLACE

He even asked ‘may I?’ when he visited Sherlock damn he may be a mass murdering psychopath but he knows the importance of manners.

he didn’t charge Sherlock for the cab either what a darling

He also apologised at the swimming pool when he had to answer a call what an angel

licensetocannibalize:

"FOOD FIGHT", a young hannibal screams, as he hurls severed limbs at the rest of the children in the cafeteria.

nerdinessinabluebox:

thorthousand1:

Just called an anorexia help line and the girl answered and immediately hearing I was male said “you’re real funny douche” and hung up. If you dot think that’s messed up, u messed up.

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME

untrustyou:

Doublefaced No. 23
Sebastian Bieniek

untrustyou:

Doublefaced No. 23

Sebastian Bieniek

taurielings:

dollare:

me during sports class

#maybe thats why it took you so long to get to mordor
thedoctorheretohelp:

don’t fuck with me, jimmy

thedoctorheretohelp:

don’t fuck with me, jimmy

I think I broke Harry Potter

karlosmadera:

So it’s 3AM and It’s just occurred to me that the most telling scene in the entire Harry Potter franchise is the scene following the announcement of the participants of the Triwizard tournament.

When Harry’s name is pulled out of the cup, literally one of the first things he is asked is “did you ask an older boy to put your name in the cup for you?" or something to that effect, insinuating that, that was something nobody prepared for and that it was something that totally would have worked if anyone had been smart enough to figure it out.

However, in an earlier scene a student is turned into a hundred year old man when they try to artificially age themselves with a potion and put their name into the cup. Meaning someone trying to dangerously age themselves with potion they aren’t familiar with was something the teachers genuinely considered to be more likely than someone asking for fucking help from another student.

image

In other words, the wizards in Harry Potter’s world are so reliant on magic that it doesn’t occur to anyone save for people like Harry that asking for help is even an option in a given situation. This explains why wizards are so fucking ass-backwards at everything, they’re so confident that their magic is capable of doing everything for them that it has never occurred to fucking anyone that perhaps asking for help from the muggle world might be of some use.

Think about it, the wizarding world hasn’t changed in hundreds of years while in that same space of time the muggle world has figured out fucking space travel. I know it’s a cliché to say to say someone could have fucking shot Voldemort, but seriously, somebody totally fucking could have, he killed like 50 people, he was effectively a terrorist, if anyone in the wizarding world bothered to ask for help from the muggles instead of just telling them there was an invisible asshole flying around shooting death curses at everyone, they may have been able to help. 

Pretty much the only reason Voldermort thinks he’s better than muggles is because he’s able to kill them with impunity using magic, something he’s only able to do so easily because muggles don’t understand what magic is. Voldemort is basically like a fucking disease, he’s an invisible, lurking entity preying on mankind from the shadows like a cowardly piece of shit. You know what else did that? Smallpox and we stomped that to death the second we understood it. That’s the difference between muggles and wizards, when muggles don’t understand something, they figure it out.

And here’s the kicker, the only reason muggles don’t understand magic at all is because the wizarding world deliberately withholds information about it. However, even if the wizarding world kept doing that, it’d only be a matter of time until a muggle figured out what magic was and how to stop or harness it because that’s what humanity does, it pushes past what we think is impossible to see what’s on the other side. We didn’t understand the sun as a species originally and now we use it to power satellites and smartphones.

The wizarding world isn’t a realm of infinite possibilities, it’s a universe of strict limitations where boundaries are never questioned. The muggle world is where the real magic happens. That’s why during the course of the Harry Potter books, which are set between 1991 and 1998, the muggle world (our world) discovered dark matter, cloned a sheep and invented fucking MP3s while the wizarding world were literally paying some dipshit to figure out what the purpose of a rubber duck was.

image

Wow, I really shouldn’t think about this stuff when it’s like 3AM, it gets kind of dark.

You know all of those posts about muggle borns smuggling pens and pencils into Hogwarts? That’s another aspect of the restriction wizards put on themselves. Why would you chose to write with something like quills and inkpots, needing to re-dip every few words, if you could just take a fountain pen and write several entire essays without having to refill.

Or the thing about the measurements. Witches and wizards still use inches and ounces even though Great Britain has, thanks to the EU, mostly gone over to grams and meters by now (depending on the measured thing and the people you talk to, but there’s a definite drift towards the metric system) Also owls for letters. Letters are close to dying out in the muggle words due to e-mails and chatrooms and telephones which are just a lot quicker (and compared to shoving your head through the floonetwork a lot more comfortable as well)

houseofhannibal:

no, you’re all wrong. chilton isn’t the chesapeake ripper, he’s the chesapeake stripper. and he ain’t cheap. why else do you think he had $443 just lying around in his wallet?

I signed up for dace lessons, so its time to get the fancy shoes out again.

I signed up for dace lessons, so its time to get the fancy shoes out again.

a guide to terminology as used by western males of the species

prude - a woman who won’t fuck you

dyke - a woman who won’t fuck you because you have a penis

slut - a woman who fucks other people and not you

tease - a woman who won’t fuck you even though she smiled at you

feminist - a woman who won’t fuck you because she has, like, thoughts and stuff